So, I totally fell off the side of this cliff, spawned a set of Gloom Hands below me - lmao - AND, when I scrambled up the cliffside, this mf'er had RAN OVER to greet me. 0/10 recommend, haha.
After all this time of running around collecting the acorns of Hyrule - and maxing out the amount of acorns I could even carry in my bag, lmao - I am proud to report that I've finally beat the game.
While drunk, by the way. Terrible hang over the next morning, but I did it!